poems

MAYBE

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:47:11 +0100

Maybe she did love me
Maybe she did want me
Maybe I was just to blinded by confusion to see
That she tried her best to save me
I was just a little girl what do I know

Maybe she fought
Maybe she tried
Maybe she stayed up days and nights and cried
Maybe she was just as scarred as me
Just as afraid of what the next day was to be

Maybe she felt the same things I did
Maybe she’s not as heartless as I thought
Maybe she was just as alone as I was
Just a little girl afraid of the world

Maybe she just needed someone supportive in her life
To tell her that they love her
And to be there through the night
To help her through the dark times
And learn that there are good

Maybe she wants to change the past
Maybe she wishes she could
All these maybes that I have
Maybe one day I’ll know
Maybe one day I’ll ask

TO MY LITTLE SISTER

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:28:11 +0100

I love you more then you’ll ever know
I know you can’t see and it doesn’t always show
My heart aches knowing I let you down
I’m so sorry I haven’t been around
That I haven’t there for you to wipe your tears and hold your hands like sisters do

These past few years I’ve been through so much pain
I lost my everything
I try to forget
I try to move on
But I can’t regain what is gone
I want us to be close again
I just don’t know how to begin

You’re all growing up so fast
My mind is always in the past
Reminiscing of what we had
If I could rewind time I think I would
Go back to the days when things were good
Press pause and stay forever

But that’s not reality it can happen never
All I can do is start from scratch
Work hard to regain our relationship back
I promise never to let you down
I’ll try my best to be around
Weather I’m here, there, or anywhere I love you know matter what goes down

Everyday I think of you your in my heart
I wish I could just press restart
What’s done is done I have to accept that now
Know that I love you even if I’m not around

LIFE MOVES ON

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:28:54 +0100

You go in so blind

You think it’s going to last forever
But then you find
Forever is never

Why does it hurt so much inside
Why couldn’t we just be fine
You wanted him to be yours for all of time
But now he’s gone
And you know it’s time for you to move on

It’s so hard
And so far from ok
Never did you think he’d make you feel this way
You start to wonder
Was it worth the pain in your heart
Was this love cursed from the start

You’re just trying to make sense
To mend your broken heart
Love comes
As quickly as it goes
Don’t try to make sense of it
Because you’ll never know

You give your heart away to him
Just to have it broken it the end
Yet you’ll keep doing it again
Everyone’s looking for love
That’s why no one gives up
So you try again
Thinking he may be the one

Everybody’s trying to find their way in this world
Hearts break and life goes on
You listen to a sad song and try to move on
You can’t live in the past
The future is what you have
The past is something you can never have back

It’s ok to cry and shed a few tears
It’s ok to hide and sometimes have fears
But in the end you have to strong
Because either way life moves on

MY ONLY REGRET IS TRUSTING YOU

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:55:19 +0100

You kicked me out and abandoned me

I thought you were my family

I gave you my heart and I trusted you

Now what do you expect me to do

Just to keep on loving you

You broke my heart and left me all alone

Do you expect everything to be fixed on its own

You wonder why I'm so detached

What do you expect after that act

You took away my everything

And left me all alone

I don't think you realize

Just look in my eyes

Can you see the pain inside

All the tears you made me cry

You hurt me

And I just have to say

Nothing will ever be the same

All the relationships you ruined

It's all your fault

I blame you

Nothing will ever be the same

My love for her will never go away

But our relationship is forever changed

GET OUT OF MY LIFE

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:13:47 +0100

Because of you I hide

Because of you I cry

Because of you I lie

Because of you I'm shy

Because of you I'm alone

Because of you I have no home

Because of you I'm afraid

This is what you made

I'm crying

Tears roll down my cheek

I'm lying

I can't even speak

I tell you I'm ok

Just so you'll go away

I don't wanna see your face no more

I can't deal with this pain anymore

It hurts and I can not take it anymore

I'm trying to live my life

But you keep cutting in like a sharp knife

Do you enjoy making me cry and bleed

You always put your feelings before me

So I'm done

Get out of my life

All you do is cause me pain

I'm done playing your stupid head games

JUST A LITTLE GIRL

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:43:13 +0100

Can you see the pain in my eyes

Do you know that I cry late at night

I lay alone in my bed

Wishing that you were with me

But you're gone now

And I'm dead

You killed me

You put a knife threw my chest

The moment you left

I wipe the tears from my eyes

I just cry and cry

Like a river my tears flow

I'm all alone in the dark

Just me and my broken heart

My wrists begin to bleed

I'm down on my knees

Crying lord help me please

I was just a little girl

When you shattered my world

They told me you couldn't do it

They said they weren't gonna put me through it

So they took me away

That was the day I changed

That was the day I started to gain

More and more pain

With each passing day

Just a little girl

Thrown into this big ugly world

I held my pain inside

Never once did I let you see me cry

I use to love you so

But I had to let you go

I gave up on you

The day you decided to

Stop fighting

Stop trying

You left me all alone crying

I'm all grown up now

I guess I managed some how

I still miss you

But not what you've become

I miss what you never were

And that I never had one

DEATH

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:37:54 +0100

Do you know what it feels like

To want to end your life

To be filled with so much pain

That you don't see the point of living

To feel like you can't go on

Just to want to be gone

I hear death calling me

It says it can set me free

It whispers in my dreams

Always taunting me

Death holds out it's hand to me

And I grab it gracefully

Then I wake up just to see

I'm still here in misery

THE TRUTH

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:09:44 +0100

The truth is I don't trust easily and I love rarely

I've learned from my past and I know how people act

They can't be trusted

You have to watch your back

You say you're different

You say you're not the same

Everyone before you said the same thing

My own parents did this shit to me

They said they loved me then abandoned me

So what makes you so different

What makes you not the same

I guarantee you I've heard everything

You want me to love you

You want me to trust you

But that's just something I can't do

Even if I wanted to my heart wouldn't let me

It's still in pain from all the people who left me

The ones who said they'd be here till the end

Through thick and thin

No matter what happened

Take a look around

Do you see them now

No cause they all bailed out

Some people just can't handle the fact

That I may never be able to love and trust them back

You may think I'm cold

Incapable loving she's inhuman

I still feel pain, fear the tears are here

Don't get me wrong

There are people in this world that I love to death

I'd do anything for them without a second guess

I just know I can't trust many people except myself

I do what I do to protect myself

SO FAR AWAY

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:31:58 +0100

You’re so far away but I can feel your touch
I can see it in your eyes
You care so much
The longing that you must feel
The wanting of you is so real

I close my eyes and there you are
Looking at me
You’re all my eyes can see
The taste of your lips is something I dream
To feel your body against me

You know me inside and out
You’re the only one who can figure me out
What I feel cannot be explained
You’re a beautiful disaster of everything

It almost seems as if it’s unreal
But when I hear your voice nothings ever felt so real
I know you inside and out
I have no trouble figuring you out

My heart whispers a secret to me
My brain gives me a warning
But my mouth cannot help but say
I love you more and more with each passing day
How can you do this to me
Be my perfect everything

If only I could feel your hand caress my face
To look into your eyes and feel so safe
It hurts me so much to know
That I'll never have a chance to show
How much you mean to me
And what can never be

You’re so far away but still I feel
All these emotions for you and I know it’s real
You’re my super hero in this world
So I'll wait for you to rescue me
Then maybe we can be

INNOCNECE IS GONE

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:09:02 +0100

A little girl
With sunshine hair and baby blue eyes
Such innocnece
You could see it in every tear she cried
She was tough and she acted so strong
But she couldn't hang on

She tried to just shut her ears and close her eyes
Hoping that she could hide
From all the pain the world creates inside
But she couldn't run fast enough
And she was to young to stand up

No buddy was there
No buddy cared
Couldn't they see that she was so scarred
I know that they saw all the tears that she cried
And all the marks and bruises left behind

Everyone acted so blind
As years and years past by
They watched all the tears that she cried
They saw the pain and told their lies

She's all grown up now
And she made it through some how
But she's still conflicted from
The past and whats to come
How can she move on
From all the pain that has come and gone

I look in the mirror and see
That little girl she was me
My innocence was ripped from my chest
I never had the strength to protest

I cry and cry still today
Thinking about the yesterdays
Thankful I made it through
But the consequences still prusue

I keep waiting for the day to come
Where I can move on from what was done
Stop replaying it in my dreams
When I look in the mirror and just see me
Not that little girl crying looking back at me
So I'll keep waiting